Archive for January 8, 2013

What You don’t Know about Women

I do not understand men.

Strange, random men, who need to use the worst pickup lines on women.

This morning, after dropping off Little Man at school, I had to make a stop at the supermarket.

Now, mind you. It’s 8:00 AM, man. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep over the past two days. I’m not in my everyday glammed-up (HA!) version of myself.

I’m not expecting some random dude to come smiling up to me, while he’s unloading stacked produce.

What’s worse, it wasn’t even good. You seriously trying to mack on somebody at 8:00 am and you’ve got nothing better than,”How about you give me your phone number, so I can call you?”

Yeah, how about I snatch that dead caterpillar off your face and make you eat it?!

I got a little too New York when he did that, because I just turned around with a look of disgust and went, “SO. MUCH. NO. How ’bout ‘HELL NO?!'”

I felt like I needed a shower.

Now, there are some who will say this was the wrong approach. It’ll only encourage him, because he got a reaction out of me.

Yeah, well. Guess what?

There is no “right” approach. Not if that’s how you look at it.

If I say something, I’ve given him the attention he wants. If I ignore him and walk by, he takes that to mean I’m affected by him and it just encourages him to do it again to the next woman. Insulting him will just piss him off, maybe.

Any way you slice it, if you’re a woman, the onus is on you.

“You shouldn’t have…”

“You can’t do that…”

“You’ll just provoke him.”

What about, stop acting like a jackass?! No woman appreciates that caveman bull. And if you DO approach a random woman you don’t know, if you’re so compelled by her beauty to talk to her, you’d better come up with something way more respectful and more creative than, “gimme yo numbuh.”

Good rule of thumb: If you heard it on an old episode of “Fresh Prince,” don’t use it.

Man, sit yo ass down!