What You don’t Know about Women

I do not understand men.

Strange, random men, who need to use the worst pickup lines on women.

This morning, after dropping off Little Man at school, I had to make a stop at the supermarket.

Now, mind you. It’s 8:00 AM, man. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep over the past two days. I’m not in my everyday glammed-up (HA!) version of myself.

I’m not expecting some random dude to come smiling up to me, while he’s unloading stacked produce.

What’s worse, it wasn’t even good. You seriously trying to mack on somebody at 8:00 am and you’ve got nothing better than,”How about you give me your phone number, so I can call you?”

Yeah, how about I snatch that dead caterpillar off your face and make you eat it?!

I got a little too New York when he did that, because I just turned around with a look of disgust and went, “SO. MUCH. NO. How ’bout ‘HELL NO?!'”

I felt like I needed a shower.

Now, there are some who will say this was the wrong approach. It’ll only encourage him, because he got a reaction out of me.

Yeah, well. Guess what?

There is no “right” approach. Not if that’s how you look at it.

If I say something, I’ve given him the attention he wants. If I ignore him and walk by, he takes that to mean I’m affected by him and it just encourages him to do it again to the next woman. Insulting him will just piss him off, maybe.

Any way you slice it, if you’re a woman, the onus is on you.

“You shouldn’t have…”

“You can’t do that…”

“You’ll just provoke him.”

What about, stop acting like a jackass?! No woman appreciates that caveman bull. And if you DO approach a random woman you don’t know, if you’re so compelled by her beauty to talk to her, you’d better come up with something way more respectful and more creative than, “gimme yo numbuh.”

Good rule of thumb: If you heard it on an old episode of “Fresh Prince,” don’t use it.

Man, sit yo ass down!

4 comments

  1. Morghan says:

    Maybe just take it as a compliment. He couldn’t have honestly thought it would work, right? He just wanted to say, “You are a hot woman.” When I think that to myself, I feel better about generally walking on by.

  2. That’s the thing, Morghan.
    How am I supposed to take that as a compliment?!
    It’s very possible he thought that could work. Lots of guys do it and continue to do it on a regular basis.
    It’s not about complimenting me or any other woman.
    It’s about drawing my attention to HIM. Like he’s entitled to my number or my attention at all.

    If you’re going to invade my space and talk it up, at the VERY least, make it interesting.
    It’s old, it’s tired and no matter how much you walk by, there’s always some other fool that thinks this is okay.

  3. Maya Bee-Fairy says:

    I feel ya my dear!
    What I find the most frustrating, is the fear.
    If a stranger hits on a girl or pays her a compliment one just doesn’t know how to respond because you never know if the person is dangerous, genuine or just lacking in social skills. Add to that the fact that depending on the person you never know what will set them off vs have them go about their own business. Sometimes ignoring sets them off, but sometimes responding sets them off, and sometimes being distantly polite can be encouraging! UG!

  4. It is strictly a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation.
    I have had men come up to me and approach me in a way that is actually courteous.
    Every once in a great while, I’m actually flattered.
    Then I’ve had guys like this jackass come up to me.
    Happened a lot in my old neighborhood. Men who had more game than teeth.
    Once, some dude stepped up with the “hey, baby” line while I’m running late to work because the trains were screwed.
    Everyone’s on edge, I’m rushing for the stairs and this is the moment he picks to say, “Yo baby, what’s your name?”
    I didn’t miss a beat.
    Help up my left hand, flashed him the ring, shouted, “Mrs.!” and kept going.
    He could have been nuts. I didn’t stick around long enough to find out.
    Just… ew.

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